What If Mom Calls and Begs You to Take Her from Assisted Living When She First Moves In?

Your mother may have recently moved into assisted living. Or, she might be about to. Assisted living is a wonderful elder care option for aging men and women to consider, though not all seniors will choose it or think it’s the best thing.

Your mother may have decided on assisted living reluctantly. She may have felt pressure from you or other family members and thought she didn’t have a choice. Every senior should have the independence and autonomy to decide where they live, even if they need some type of support or struggle to get through each day at home alone.

However, even when somebody is enthusiastic or at least open to the prospect of assisted living and decides to give it a shot, that doesn’t mean they will feel excited and enthusiastic all the time.

Packing up one’s home, belongings, memories, mementos, trinkets, furniture, and more can lead to depression. It can cause a senior to feel as though the best years of their life are well behind them and this transition is essentially a sign that the end of their life is here.

It certainly doesn’t have to be that way. Assisted living can be a new lease on life. Depending on the facility, there may be wonderful activities, entertainment options, transportation services, friends to make, and much more that your mother might soon discover.


So, what if she calls you and begs you to take her home?

Assisted Living Pascagoula, AL: Adjusting to Assisted Living

Assisted Living Pascagoula, AL: Adjusting to Assisted Living

This could very well happen. Just because your mother is in her 70s, 80s, or 90s doesn’t mean she can’t experience that familiar homesick feeling most of us have dealt with at least once in our life. Most of the time, we consider homesickness to affect young children, but it can happen to anyone.

A regular adult having spent the last five or 10 years with their best friend, their spouse, may go away on a business trip alone. He or she may very well have a homesick feeling for the first couple of days.

They just want to return to what is comfortable, to what they know. This is what your mother is likely experiencing during these initial days or weeks after she moves into assisted living.


Give her time and encouragement.

When she calls, even if she is weeping on the phone, begging you to come and get her, be encouraging. Listen to her, but don’t try to tell her to get over herself, or to stop crying.

Allow her the emotions and the time to go through each of them. Every person is different and it will take each individual a different length of time to deal with the changes they are experiencing at this stage in their life.

Encourage her to give it a chance. Don’t hold a carrot of returning back home or to move in with you out there, not at first. A quality assisted living facility will have staff members who are responsive, ready to step in and help new residents discover all the benefits it offers.

You will likely realize, in time, she will become more comfortable there.

If you or an aging loved one are considering a move to an Assisted Living facility near Pascagoula, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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