What Can You Do to Help Your Aging Mother Adjust to Assisted Living Better?

You may feel as though you made a mistake suggesting assisted living to your elderly mother. At the time it seemed like a great idea, but during these first few days or maybe a couple of weeks since she moved in, it appears as though she’s having trouble adjusting. 

You feel guilty. She might be asking you to take her home, get her out of there, or she may even cry because she’s afraid. Moving is stressful. Even for those who are excited about a move, it is one of the top stressors in life. 

The last thing you want to do is cancel this move before your mother even has an opportunity to settle in and adjust. There are a few things you can do to help your mother make this transition smoother, though. Even if she’s already been there for a few weeks, some simple changes in outlook or approach can make a world of difference. 


Find out what activities may be taking place.

Assisted Living Daphne, Al: Adjusting to Assisted Living

Every assisted living community is different, so you can’t assume that since one has an arts and crafts session another one will, too. Speak to an administrator at the assisted living facility your mother is at and find out what activities may be taking place in the next week or month. 

Focus on those that you know your mother would enjoy and begin highlighting them to her. Write them down on a calendar and keep it on her wall, somewhere she can see it every day. 

This can give her something to look forward to. That is a powerful motivator for people when they think every day is just going to be more of the same. 


Call, but not too often. 

Some family members make the mistake of calling or stopping by to visit an aging parent or other loved one in assisted living multiple times a day. 

That creates a sense of codependency. The senior, instead of getting out and exploring their new home community and meeting other seniors, is of waiting in their room with the door closed for the phone to ring. 

It’s okay to call daily. In fact, that can be beneficial, but don’t do it so often as to keep your mother stuck in her room waiting for those conversations. 


Make a big deal about her room. 

If you get the opportunity to visit or speak to her on a video conference call, comment on her room. Fawn over it, gush about it, and help her to feel great about it. It may be small and simple, but it is her room and it is safe. 

Then, once you help her to feel more comfortable in her room, encourage her to get out and explore. These ideas can help your mother adjust better to assisted living. 


If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Daphne, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017. 

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
Google Verified Author