Is Mom Being Too ‘Picky’ About Assisted Living?

Your mother has been driving you crazy lately. It took a long time for you to convince her to consider assisted living. She seemed to be stubbornly opposed to the idea until she started to realize how much stress and anxiety you were facing supporting her on your own. You have a full-time job, a family to take care of, and numerous other responsibilities, but you’ve been doing whatever you could to help her.

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Is Mom Being Too Picky?

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Is Mom Being Too Picky?

When she finally consented to look at assisted living, you were relieved.

It can be a wonderful feeling to know things are progressing in the right direction. At that time you figured you and her would visit a few facilities, she would see all of the benefits it offered, and she would be choosing one quickly.

Now, though, the months are dragging on. The weeks quickly turned into months and now the months are threatening to become another year of you sacrificing your time, work, health, and so much more. Every single facility your mother has visited has some problem she points out. One might seem to be too noisy during the afternoon. One might be in the middle of the city with no grass, greenery, or parks close by. Another didn’t seem to have adequate transportation and since your mother enjoys spending time with friends and visiting the mall, that was out of the question.

Is your mother being too ‘picky’?

She certainly might be, but what is the reason for that? Is she simply trying to sabotage the entire idea? Did she only agree that this was something to look into to keep you quiet? Was this part of her plan from the beginning, to make it appear as though she were seriously interested in assisted living when she had no intention of moving into one of these facilities?

This is a question you need to ask her.

You need to sit down and be honest with her. Express your concerns. Tell her that you are reaching your absolute limit on what you can do to support her. Do not be angry with her. She still has the right to decide where she lives or when she moves, which could be within a few weeks, months, or years from now.

You also have the right to protect yourself.

You can set limits on your time. You should. Let her know you won’t be able to support her the way you have been for much longer. Give her a specific time when you will be drawing back. See what happens. She may suddenly feel that an assisted living community she’s already visited really is her best option.

If you or an aging loved one are considering assisted living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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