If Mom’s Not Adjusting to Assisted Living Yet, Evaluate What You’re Doing to Help

Adjusting to a new environment can take a long time. For some people, making the adjustment to a new living environment to take months. In fact, some people are slow to adjust and still don’t feel ‘at home’ years after they made the move.

When you’re talking about assisted living, this can be a traumatic change in living environment for anyone, especially those who lived in the same house for many, many years. If your mother lived in the same house most of her adult life with your father, and now is in assisted living, that could be an adjustment that could take a long, long time.

If your mother is not making the adjustment fast enough for you, what are you doing to help?

Too many people think they’re helping when they are hurting.

Assisted Living Satsuma, AL: Moving into Assisted Living

This doesn’t mean you are hurting her, but you might be interfering with the natural adjustment process she needs to go through. If you are visiting every day, calling multiple times a day, she has an excuse to remain in her home.

She may be weepy, begging you to take her out of there, bring her back home, or negotiating other terms with you. She might even be asking if she can move in with you, which might have been dismissed previously in a different discussion.

You feel bad. You feel guilty for even recommending this living environment for her. So, you try to figure out what you might do to make a difference, what other options are available, and you keep calling to check in on her.

You don’t want her to feel like she has nobody to turn to, nobody who cares. But, it’s those excessive phone calls and visitations, the apologies, the guilt that is actually interfering with her adjustment.

Limit the calls and visitations.

Once a day or twice a day is more than enough, at least right now. Let her know what time you’ll be calling. Call at the same time each morning or evening. Then, encourage her to get out and explore.

You can also call the staff administrators at the assisted living facility to let them know the struggle your mother is facing in adjusting to this new environment.

They will have seen this before. They will likely have plans in place that can help. They might go to her room, visit with her, and encourage other residents to reach out to make contact. Just those few little steps can make a world of difference in helping her mother adjust to assisted living right now.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Satsuma, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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