Handling Your Senior’s Complaints the First Week of Assisted Living

It took a while, but you were finally able to convince your elderly mother to try assisted living. She had no interest in moving to a new place at this stage in her life, but you had heard about respite overnight options.

Handling Objections

You know that assisted living is a great elder care option to consider, and would probably do your mother quite well because she wants to be active, is social, and spends most of her time at home alone. Yet, every time you brought up the topic of assisted living or any other type of elder care, she kept dismissing it.

You’re the family caregiver and take care of her the best you can, but it’s wearing you out and you worry most at night. You wonder if she tried to get out of bed and slipped. You keep imagining her on the floor, writhing in pain, calling out for help and nobody’s there to hear her pleas.

So, you discovered respite care overnight stays at a local assisted living facility. You did your due diligence, researched the facility, and found out it’s a top rated elder care community. You noticed the activities they offered, felt that your mother would do well there, and finally were able to convince her this is best moving forward.

It’s Almost Been a Full Week

For almost a week now you’ve been dropping your mother off at this assisted living community in the evening and picking her up in the morning before you head to work. You’ve been able to sleep more soundly at night, not worry about every little thing happening, and you’ve been able to relax a little with your loved ones. Perhaps your partner or spouse, your own children, or even close friends you haven’t seen in a long time.

Unfortunately, your mother is still complaining. She’s has objections about the facility, wanting to be home, not liking the people, the staff, or the food.

Yet, everything you researched, everything you found out firsthand is the opposite of what she says. Do you listen to her? Do you take what she says with a grain of salt? Or do you ignore her?

This is Her Choice

Unless you have a court order granting you authority and right to decide what someone else does or where they live, this is your mother’s choice. She may be complaining to draw attention. She may be complaining because she wants you to do something else for her, bring her to your house to live, or because she’s not really giving assisted living a fair shake. Make sure throughout this process, no matter how difficult, that you are understanding about her change of environment.

Make a Deal with Her

Allow her to vent and complain. But, tell her that for every time she complains about something she has to express gratitude for something else. It could be about you, her house, the food she makes for herself, or maybe even a new friend she found in this new facility, an activity she actually did enjoy, etc. She will likely begin to realize it’s not so bad. It’s a great segue to help seniors recognize the value assisted living can offer.

If you or an aging loved one are considering a move to Assisted Living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.