Handling Your Senior’s Complaints the First Week of Assisted Living

Assisted Living Chickasaw AL

Assisted Living Chickasaw AL

It took a while, but you were finally able to convince your elderly mother to try assisted living. She had no interest in moving to a new place at this stage in her life, but you had heard about respite overnight options.

Handling Objections

You know that assisted living is a great elder care option to consider, and would probably do your mother quite well because she wants to be active, is social, and spends most of her time at home alone. Yet, every time you brought up the topic of assisted living or any other type of elder care, she kept dismissing it.

You’re the family caregiver and take care of her the best you can, but it’s wearing you out and you worry most at night. You wonder if she tried to get out of bed and slipped. You keep imagining her on the floor, writhing in pain, calling out for help and nobody’s there to hear her pleas.

So, you discovered respite care overnight stays at a local assisted living facility. You did your due diligence, researched the facility, and found out it’s a top rated elder care community. You noticed the activities they offered, felt that your mother would do well there, and finally were able to convince her this is best moving forward.

It’s Almost Been a Full Week

For almost a week now you’ve been dropping your mother off at this assisted living community in the evening and picking her up in the morning before you head to work. You’ve been able to sleep more soundly at night, not worry about every little thing happening, and you’ve been able to relax a little with your loved ones. Perhaps your partner or spouse, your own children, or even close friends you haven’t seen in a long time.

Unfortunately, your mother is still complaining. She’s has objections about the facility, wanting to be home, not liking the people, the staff, or the food.

Yet, everything you researched, everything you found out firsthand is the opposite of what she says. Do you listen to her? Do you take what she says with a grain of salt? Or do you ignore her?

This is Her Choice

Unless you have a court order granting you authority and right to decide what someone else does or where they live, this is your mother’s choice. She may be complaining to draw attention. She may be complaining because she wants you to do something else for her, bring her to your house to live, or because she’s not really giving assisted living a fair shake. Make sure throughout this process, no matter how difficult, that you are understanding about her change of environment.

Make a Deal with Her

Allow her to vent and complain. But, tell her that for every time she complains about something she has to express gratitude for something else. It could be about you, her house, the food she makes for herself, or maybe even a new friend she found in this new facility, an activity she actually did enjoy, etc. She will likely begin to realize it’s not so bad. It’s a great segue to help seniors recognize the value assisted living can offer.

If you or an aging loved one are considering a move to Assisted Living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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