Could Assisted Living Be a Good Option for Two Aging Parents, Even Though One Doesn’t Need Support Right Now?

Thomas and Jane had been married for over 50 years. They had an incredibly good life, raised three wonderful children, and spent a good portion of their early retirement traveling and doing things they enjoyed. Together. As they head into their 80s, Jane has been dealing with chronic health issues that have caused her difficulty getting around. 

Thomas has refused to give up and has become her primary caregiver support. Even though it is taking a clear toll on his physical abilities and health, he doesn’t want to stop. 

They have a great support system of family and neighbors, but each day is getting more difficult. They have heard from their children that assisted living is something they should consider, but to this point in time they haven’t. 


What is their main concern?

Assisted Living Pascagoula, AL: Aging Parents and Assisted Living

For Thomas, he fully understands Jane would do quite well at assisted living. She needs a little support just getting out of bed on some mornings. She sometimes even needs help getting into and out of the shower. 

He is more than capable of doing that still, but he recognizes his strength is in decline. He just doesn’t see any real value in him moving to an assisted living facility, too. 

Yet, he doesn’t want to be separated from her. They are as in love today as they were the day they married. As Thomas might say, “Were actually more in love today than when we first met.” 

He can’t imagine his life without her. He can’t even think about waking up one morning, looking over at her place in the bed, and seeing it empty. 


Thomas doesn’t think it’s possible for him to live at assisted living, too. 

This is the key hang up for Thomas and Jane. He thinks assisted living is just for seniors who struggle with daily life, who have chronic health issues, or who may be unable to get out of bed on their own. 

It might take some time, a tour of a local facility, and answering direct questions, but Thomas may come to realize that assisted living can be for any senior who no longer wishes for the responsibility of maintaining and cleaning and caring for a home. 

Thomas and Jane could move in together. Yes, the expense would be more, but because of their marital status, they could find life at assisted living more welcoming, inviting, and uplifting than what they realize at this moment. 


If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Pascagoula, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017. 

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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