Stop! It’s Not Your Decision to Make

October 21, 2014 by ·

What Role Does Family Have with Assisted Living Decisions near Pascagoula, AL?

“ A Daughter Making a Decision that is Not Hers to Make”

Nicole has been trying to convince her father that it was time to seriously consider moving out of his relatively large house. He had been living in this house since long before Nicole was born and she was 42 years old at the time she began to suspect that he needed more assistance. She believed that he would be better suited moving into assisted living than staying in that large house.Assisted Living Pascagoula AL

In fact, the house was for bedrooms and 2 ½ bathrooms. It consisted of over 2000 square feet of living space and Nicole knew from her own experience that this was far too much for a person in their 80s to maintain. It was a significant responsibility just to keep it clean, let alone maintain it.

So she started to talk to him about moving into an assisted living facility. He was resistant to this idea, and after a while she got frustrated to the point that she began looking into various options for him.

Nicole contacted more than 10 assisted living facilities in the area, visited with a number of staff members at these facilities, and began making decisions for her father on his behalf. She ended up finding and settling on one specific assisted living facility that was relatively close to his house right now.

She signed a contract for him to move in at the end of the month. When she approached him and told him the exciting news, he was more than just a little agitated. In fact, he was downright furious that she had done that. He kept telling her that she didn’t have a right to make that decision for him. She told him that it was better for him to do this now than to wait, considering the fact that the property value of his house would likely continue to decline as a result of his inability to take care of it properly.

This caused an incredible strain in their relationship and Nicole’s father didn’t end up moving into the assisted living facility.

Family can certainly be supportive of loved ones and encourage them to consider other options, especially when they are concerned about their elderly loved ones health and well-being. However, they do not have the right, unless they have legal authority to do so, to make decisions like this for their loved ones.

When it comes to assisted living, family members can certainly offer their opinions, but they can’t force their loved ones to move if they don’t want to.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living near Pascagoula AL, at 251-317-3017.

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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