“Dad Just Won’t Listen!” When Talking About Assisted Living, Communication Goes Both Ways

August 2, 2016 by ·

Assisted Living in Mobile AL

“He’s just so stubborn. I can’t believe he won’t even listen to me.”Assisted-Living-in-Mobile-AL

Does that sound like you? Does that sound like you talking about your father every time you seem to bring up the topic of assisted living? It’s a common refrain many people can relate to, and it certainly leads to an incredible amount of frustration and anxiety.

After all, you just want your father to be safe and you know in your heart he’s no longer capable of taking care of the house, he’s lonely, and you worry about his safety. It doesn’t make any sense that he wants to stay in that big house all alone with no friends visiting, doing nothing but watching TV or tinkering with certain things in the garage, and so on.

You try to talk about assisted living with him, but now the moment you bring it up he gets angry, walks out of the room, and goes elsewhere. Now you feel he’s just being stubborn for stubborn’s sake.

That could be the case, but it can also be that he has tried to express certain beliefs, questions, or concerns in the past whenever you started talking about other living situations. Were you listening?

Communication is a two-way street. It truly does go both ways and any time you find yourself frustrated and calling somebody else stubborn, claiming they won’t even listen to you, you need to take an honest assessment of your own ability and willingness to listen to them.

Did he ever express concerns about his safety or comfort level at home? Are you the one providing support for him whenever he needs it? If so, you could very well be enabling him to want to remain home.

Do you know anything about assisted living aside from the fact it could be beneficial for him because of the staff who can help him or other seniors he could meet and become friends with?

Perhaps the next move would be best suited to take a tour of an assisted living facility. Talk to the administrators, ask questions, find out everything you can about this place, the living environment, the amenities, including a fitness room, restaurant, entertainment center, and much more. Find out activities seniors there enjoy on a regular basis.

Then, when armed with all of this information and facts, ask if he will sit down with you and talk about it openly and honestly. Tell him you’re willing to listen to him as well. When you do that, there is a much greater chance to open up the lines of communication more effectively.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Mobile, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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