Accepting That Mom Wants an Assisted Living Facility Closer to Friends

April 17, 2018 by ·

Your mother is advancing in years. You have been concerned about her well-being at home for some time. You know she is not as safe as she once was, and you wished she had more things to do during the day. You’ve talked about assisted living, especially since you don’t live close enough to her to really help out.

Assisted Living in Theodore AL: Accepting That Mom Wants to Live Closer to Friends

Assisted Living in Theodore AL: Accepting That Mom Wants to Live Closer to Friends

She finally agreed to it, but you expected her to move closer.

In all of that time thinking about this and other options, you never envisioned that she might want to stay where she was, in the town she has lived in for many years. You thought she would want to move closer to you, build a stronger relationship with you, and have the support of family as opposed to friends.

But she wants to be close to her friends.

This is actually quite normal. Think about it from your own perspective. If you were asked by a family member across the country to move closer to them, but you had dozens of friends, connections, and a sense of community where you were at that moment, would you want to go?

Most people won’t. Yes, family is important, and it is certainly important to your mother, but how often are you going to actually spend time with her? How many times will you actually stop by to visit? You may have the best of intentions, but life often gets in the way.

Then, your mother might be longing for the times she spent with her friends, wondering what they were up to, and wishing she could see some of them for a while.

Your mother has every right to make this decision.

She is choosing assisted living, and that is a great decision to make. That is something to celebrate. You may be upset because you have certain expectations in mind, but that should not cause you or her to feel any type of guilt over the ultimate decision she makes. Remember, she is an independent individual who has every right to decide where she lives and what she does.

You can still visit.

You can still keep in touch with her. You can still visit her. If you don’t have the time to visit or make that drive, the staff at this new assisted living facility may be able to help her hook up a device to do a video conference call so you can see one another.

This is a great decision, so celebrate it; try not to focus on what your expectations had been.

If you or an aging loved one are considering assisted living in Theodore, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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