What if Grandma Wants to Remain at Her Assisted Living Home for the Holidays?

With the holidays fast approaching, you may be trying to figure out family plans. If your elderly grandmother or possibly your aging mother is at an assisted living community, she’s probably enjoying life not having to worry about housework, cooking, cleaning, and enjoying spending time with new friends.

You’d love for her to come and visit for the holidays, but what does it mean if she’s reluctant? What if she flat out refuses and would prefer to remain at that assisted living facility through the holidays?

It doesn’t mean she no longer cares about you.

Assisted Living Chickasaw, AL:What if Grandma Wants to Remain at Her Assisted Living Home for the Holidays?

Depending on how far the drive or flight would be, she may be physically limited in her mobility or not have the desire to sit in a car or on a plane for that length of time. She may very well miss you all and would love to see you, but it could be a matter of practicality.

The best thing is to not make assumptions about why she’s reluctant to come and visit for the holiday season. Instead, invite her and if she declines because she’s going to stay where she is, you can then ask if she is concerned about travel.

She may have made some wonderful friendships.

Depending on how long she has been at this assisted living community, she may have formed a number of great, deep friendships already. These other seniors might not have family who invite them or want to spend the holidays with them.

Your elderly grandmother might prefer to be there for them, at least this year. It doesn’t mean she has no interest in visiting; it’s just that, at the moment, she sees this as a priority (to be there for her new friends).

She might still be adjusting to this new life.

If she only recently moved into an assisted living facility, she may be adjusting to this new community. She may understand herself better than anyone and realizes if she goes and visits with you, stays in a nice, comfortable, warm house with family, she may have a more difficult time returning.

It might take people several weeks, months, or possibly even longer to adjust to a significant life change as this. Most people, however, when they truly embrace the benefits assisted living offers, tend to adjust more quickly.

It’s fine if your aging grandmother prefers to remain at her assisted living facility for the holidays. You might discover this is a great excuse to get your family to go visit her and enjoy at least a few days away from home on a mini vacation.


If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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