Is It Possible to Force an Aging Senior into Assisted Living?

John was 83, widowed, and living alone. His two children, both in their late 50s, had been admonishing him for some time to consider moving out of that house he was in. He had been living in the same house for over 30 years, the one he and his wife, their mother, bought together as their dream home. This was the house they had always wanted to live in and were happy there until she became sick and passed away more than 10 years ago.

His children were telling him he needed to make a move. They knew that assisted living was a far better option for him, but according to their own estimation, John was simply obstinate, stubborn, and it was causing friction in the family.

He was having extreme difficulty maintaining safety.

Assisted Living Spanish Fort AL: Seniors Needing Assisted Living

Assisted Living Spanish Fort AL: Seniors Needing Assisted Living

He kept calling on neighbors and friends for help, and while they were able to assist with many things, including taking out the garbage, picking up the mail, and even running errands for them at the store, his children understood there was a limit to their ability to keep helping him.

They kept telling him, “Dad, you can’t keep calling on these people for help.” He kept asking why and despite all their answers, he didn’t want to hear the truth.

Finally, one afternoon, his two adult children had been talking about it amongst coworkers, friends, and the rest of the family and realized they might not have an option soon. There was some evidence that he had fallen recently and though he was uninjured, the next time could change everything.
They wanted to make him move, but they didn’t know how to go about it. So, they consulted an attorney who had advertised extreme experience in dealing with these sensitive family matters.

“Can we force our father into assisted living?”

This was the key question they asked the attorney during the initial meeting. They knew that assisted living was by far the better option for him. They understood he would be able to surround himself with peers his own age, enjoy activities, and have supportive staff ready to help him with just about anything he needed.

Living alone, constantly asking everyone around him for help, it was taking a toll on his emotional well-being. That’s what they told the attorney. Then the attorney said, “Legally, you might be able to, if you can prove to a judge that he can no longer make safe, rational decisions for himself. However, it’s a long and difficult fight that will likely lead to emotional damage for you all.”

They felt despondent, and that’s when the attorney advised them to learn everything, they could about assisted living.
“The more you know about it yourself, the more you can share the best aspects of it. Your father might then come around when he realizes just what it truly offers.”

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living in Spanish Fort, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.


About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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