Following Your Head Makes Better Decisions About Assisted Living, but Sometimes Your Heart Gets in the Way

You know, analytically speaking, your elderly mother would be better served at assisted living. You recognize that she’s no longer safe living at home alone. You have a full-time career, other responsibilities to take care of, and even though you’d like to support her more, you just don’t have that kind of time. You want to sit down with her and talk about assisted living, but every time you look at her, the lonely, sad look in her eyes, and every time she talks about the memories she has surrounding her in this house, how much she misses your father, and how she can’t think about being anywhere else, that she might lose this ethereal connection with him if she moved, you let your heart get in the way.

Our emotions don’t always align with what’s best.

Assisted Living Chickasaw, AL: Following Your Head Makes Better Decisions About Assisted Living

You don’t want to upset her. You don’t want her to feel as though you’re giving up on her. You want her to be safe. You want her to be happy. You can tell she spends most of her time alone, watching TV, knitting or crocheting, doing a few puzzles, and maybe trying to reach some friends on the phone. She’s not getting involved in life. She can’t drive so she can’t go and visit people on her own.

Yet, just about every time you want to talk about assisted living, you feel as though she senses this conversation is about to start and talks about your father, this place, this house where she raised you, your siblings, and where so many memories are wrapped up in every door, window, carpet, piece of furniture, wall, and so on.

It’s important to step back from emotions and determine whether assisted living which truly be the best option at this point in a person’s life. Ask yourself a few key questions.

1. Is your mother’s quality of life good? Is it improving? If not, assisted living could offer a much better quality of life.
2. Can you continue to be her primary caregiver? Can you be her companion? If you have a full-time career and numerous other responsibilities, caregiving was never meant to be your job in the first place. She can have all the care and support she needs and more at a quality assisted living facility.
3. Separating emotion from the decision, do you honestly believe she is best served remaining at home alone? If not, it is well past time to talk openly and honestly about assisted living.


If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living in Chickasaw, AL,contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
Google Verified Author