Elder Care Citronelle AL: When Your Partner Doesn’t Understand Mom’s Alzheimer’s, How to Gain More Understanding!

April 1, 2014 by ·

“A Spouse’s Story in Citronelle AL dealing with her Mom’s Alzheimer’s “

Rachel and Hank had been married for more than thirty years when Rachel’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  While there was never any consideration about having her mother come and live with them, Rachel took on the role of elder care provider by herself.Elder Care Citronelle AL

Her mother lived about twenty minutes away from them and since Rachel didn’t work and the kids were off at college, she had plenty of time to be there for her mother.  The one thing that she didn’t think about or consider was that she simply didn’t have a lot of information about Alzheimer’s and she was learning to provide elderly home care for her mother as she went along.  This wasn’t the best solution, but it was what she, and her mother, decided would be a good idea.

Rachel had always been supportive of Hank through the years, whether it was him working late on a certain project or wanting to go golfing on the weekend instead of taking a family trip up north.   She never questioned his motives and was always there for him.

However, when her mother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he wasn’t all that supportive.  He kept telling Rachel that she should find a qualified elderly health care provider for her, that she didn’t know what she was doing, and that it would be best for her mother to get the proper level of care from the beginning.  Rachel angrily admonished her husband, claiming that he just wanted to put her in nursing home care so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

In truth, that wasn’t what he was implying or saying.  Still, Rachel had made a decision and believed that Hank wasn’t supporting her, or that he didn’t understand what she was going through (or her mother, for that matter).  If you’re having trouble with a spouse or partner and feel as though they don’t understand or support your care of a loved one with Alzheimer’s, the best thing to do is to communicate and share information about the disease with them.

The more that you know about Alzheimer’s and the best form of elder care for that individual, the more they can understand just what it is, how the disease progresses, and what the patient needs as far as support.  You may also learn a lot more about the disease when you talk about it as well.  You also might learn something about your partner and his or her unwillingness, or seeming lack thereof, to support you.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living  in Citronelle AL,  at 251-317-3017.  

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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