How Much Time is Too Much to Spend with an Aging Parent Who Recently Moved to Assisted Living?

Perhaps it was your mother who moved to assisted living recently. Or maybe it was your father. It might have been a friend or a friend’s parent. Whoever it is, you want the best for them. Most people don’t fully understand or appreciate the value this elder care option offers aging men and women.

One thing a lot of family members and even friends do when they know someone who makes a transition like this is to call and visit more often (usually more than they normally would).

That can certainly be a wonderful gesture, but is it the right thing to do? That’s an important question to ask and answer when it comes to any elder care choice.

Can you spend ‘too much time’ with a senior who has moved to assisted living?

Assisted Living Mobile, AL: Spending Time with Aging Seniors

Technically, no, you can’t. Not in a general sense. However, it is possible that you could visit too many times (and spend too much time with the senior) during their initial stay at assisted living.

How might this be possible?

To be honest, there are often a great many things elderly men and women can enjoy and discover at a quality assisted living facility. Not all facilities are the same, so it’s crucial that you not get caught up in this idea that just because your aging mother (for example) has chosen assisted living that the facility she’s going to is top of the line, or that it offers the same benefits as others.

When your mother is at a quality facility, one that truly looks out for the best interests of their elderly residents and provides them with numerous activities and entertainment options, that’s a great starting point.

Yet, if you’re constantly calling to check in on her or visiting, how would she discover all that the community has to offer? If she’s waiting for your call constantly, then she won’t be out discovering everything this elder care facility may provide for her enjoyment and benefit.

So, how much time is ‘too much’?

You need to evaluate this on a personal level. Your mother may already be used to having you visit once or twice a week for several hours at a time. If that’s what you’re still doing, now that she’s at this elder care facility, then nothing is really changing.

If you’re stopping by every day, morning and evening on your way to or from work, for example, then are you giving your mother the chance she deserves to really get out and meet other residents, explore the activities, and see the options that now surround her daily?

It’s not just in person visits that could be problematic, either. It could be calls. If your mother (or father or other loved one) is waiting around for your call in the morning, afternoon, and evening when you simply ‘check in on them,’ they are not getting out to explore.

Determine what’s reasonable and encourage this senior to get out and really discover the benefits assisted living offers.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Mobile, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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