The Challenge of Being So Far Away from Mom When Talking About Assisted Living

When you took this job, you knew it meant moving across the country. You were close to your mother growing up and throughout your young adult life. You had a great relationship, but despite your trepidation and reservations, she was one of your most ardent supporters, encouraging you to take this opportunity. You’ve missed her ever since, and though you talk on the phone frequently, you’ve been concerned about her health and well-being.

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Long-Distance Caregivers

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Long-Distance Caregivers

She’s been living alone for a while.

Ever since your father passed away, your mother has been living alone. That’s a difficult situation to deal with, especially as she’s moving into her 80s. You know things won’t stay the same. When you do visit, you’ve noticed how much slower she is, how much weaker she seems, and you go back home constantly thinking of all of those worst-case scenarios.

You believe she would be better suited at assisted living right now.

It’s taken you a while to try and bring up the topic. You know your mother has been living in the same place for decades. She is comfortable there. This is the house she had shared with your father for so long there are almost innumerable memories locked up in almost every room. How could she possibly think about packing up everything and leaving?

For those people who live so far away from their aging parents or other family members, talking about various topics, which can include assisted living, can be difficult. That’s because some people will take the topic as being an assault on their independence, autonomy, or ability to take care of themselves.

Perhaps your mother isn’t that kind of person, but discussing something like this on the phone seems almost too impersonal. It’s such a major choice, a life change, that it feels as though you should be there with her in person to discuss this. You want to see her reactions. You want to be able to answer questions. You want to be able to hug her if she feels like breaking down.

Remember, when presented in a positive light, assisted living is truly a benefit.

The best thing anyone can do, whether they’re going to have conversation across thousands of miles or in person, is to learn as much as possible about these facilities. Go on a tour, talk with administrators, and begin to realize what is possible. Every facility is different, so it’s important not to state what a particular facility will have close to your mother, but the general benefits they offer.

By becoming informed, it can make those difficult conversations easier, no matter how far away you live from this aging senior.

If you or an aging loved one are considering assisted living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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