Is It Better to Let Mom Settle in to Assisted Living or Visit Daily?

Your mother may have been reluctant at first to choose assisted living, but she grew tired of taking care of the house, trying to keep it clean, and still seeing it falling apart around her. She had been alone for more than 10 years since your father passed away and it was a difficult transition going from married life for decades to being single.

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Letting Mom Settle In

Assisted Living in Chickasaw AL: Letting Mom Settle In

She knew assisted living would be okay.

However, she seemed a bit reluctant about her decision. You started to feel guilty, as though you pressured and forced her hand, so to speak. You kept talking about assisted living, kept telling her about all of the things she could be doing right now, if she had chosen this for her future.

Because of that guilt, you want to be there for her.

So you stop by. You may stop by every single day. You might stop by every other day or as often as you can. Your goal is to provide her comfort, some type of grounding that will let her know she is loved and that you are not just passing her off and ignoring her.

You’re just not sure if this is the right thing to do.

You noticed her spending a lot of her time in her room. She might be waiting for your visits. She may be anticipating your phone calls. She might be a nervous, shy individual and she may have a difficult time getting out and meeting new people. If she knows you are going to be stopping by or calling, that could be her excuse to avoid that potentially uncomfortable situation.

It’s probably best to allow her to settle in.

If you want what’s best for her, tell her you will call her in a week and possibly stop by next week. Encourage her to get out and explore the various activities going on. Encourage her to check out the entertainment, dining facility, and even the grounds, if they have nice walking trails, sidewalks, or other options.

If she gets teary-eyed, starts trying to guilt you into visiting, resist.

She may be a little bit nervous, but this is her opportunity to meet other residents, connect with people who share common interests with her, and establish new life at this facility. If you keep visiting daily, calling a couple of times a day, she will cling to that rather than trying to explore this new reality in life, so the best thing is to step back give her time to settle in.

If you or an aging loved one are considering assisted living in Chickasaw, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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