Have You Once Considered Asking Mom What She Wants in Regards To Elder Care, Since It Is Ultimately Her Decision?

December 29, 2014 by ·

Dealing with Different Opinions from Family Members about Assisted Living near Pascagoula, AL

It’s not always easy to get a single family to agree about certain issues. When it comes to assisted living for an elderly loved one, there are likely going to be numerous opinions.

So how can you deal with various and differing opinions about assisted living for an elderly loved one with so many family members coming from different angles?

Find out what the elderly individual wants first.

While this may be considered a family decision, it is ultimately up to the elderly individual, not anyone else in the family. If he or she doesn’t want to consider assisted living that should be the end of the discussion. However, assuming the elderly individual who requires some type of care has agreed to move into an assisted living facility, they should determine what aspects or options they would prefer in the facility itself.

Once you know what the elderly individual wants, it will be easier to find potential assisted living facilities in the area.

What about when certain family members want their elderly loved one living closer to them?

It is common for family members to want their elderly loved one moving closer to them. This may be the result of guilt for not being able to spend more time with their elderly loved one, or just that it would be easier for them to check on them and support them if they were living closer.

However, many elderly individuals have friends close to where they live at the moment. This means they would likely want to remain, as close to their friends as possible, rather than having to move too far away where they might not see them again. Always place greater weight on the elderly individual’s desire with regard to which assisted living facility they prefer to live in.

What about when certain family members get angry or upset regarding certain decisions?

If family members are going to get upset about decisions the elderly individual has made, or what they perceive as other people making those decisions for them, there is really little that can be done to alleviate these issues.

Ultimately it has to be about the elderly individual’s desire, activities they may want to do, and where he or she will feel most comfortable. If those other family members cannot accept or understand this, then they may need to be left out of the decision-making process. This can certainly create tension, but if alleviating tension leads to the elderly individual not moving to the assisted living facility or location where they would be most comfortable, then it’s best to choose the former rather than the latter.

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living near Pascagoula, AL at 251-317-3017.

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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